The last month has been a little busier than usual as I get the opportunity to repay my best friend for standing by me during the shocking discoveries about my now ex-husband and the quick divorce that followed.  It was a painful, stressful, an absolutely horrible period in my life and she steadfastly accompanied to meet with volunteer lawyers of the day at the courthouse (the only kind I could afford) and also came to the court proceedings as well.  She was a great sounding board, let me vent when I needed to and in general, did much to make the whole process bearable.  Now, the shoe is on the other foot and it’s my turn to be there for her.  In the 40+ years we’ve been best friends, we’ve always leaned on one another and after growing up together, surviving teenage angst and raising children of our own, we thought we’d gotten through the worst of it and now could settle gracefully into old age.  Well, fate isn’t always that kind.

She didn’t have exactly the same kind of break-up as my ex-husband and me, but she’s still reeling from the turn of events and she’s heartbroken.  I know only too well how difficult it can be, how extraordinarily painful it is to loose the person you thought was the love of your life- the person you expected to grow old with, so I just try to let her talk it out, let her know that I understand and most importantly, let her know that it gets better over time.  The pain doesn’t last forever and there will come a time when she is actually grateful and relieved to be away from him.  And, also, to help her realize that nothing she could have down would have changed anything.  This guy was a train wreck waiting to happen and not only wasn’t the relationship ever going to be happy and healthy, but he was going to drag her down with him.

So, anyway, we’ve been spending a lot more time together as she gets her mental and emotional ducks in a row.  As tough as this was, I think that she’s much better off and will have a higher quality of life to enjoy in the future.  Plus, now she is free to meet someone who is more appropriate for her- when she is ready.  That part will take time.  When my ex and I first broke up, I was afraid that I was too old to ever meet anyone again and much to my surprise, I ended up doing a lot of dating.  When I realized that I wasn’t meeting the kind of guys I wanted to meet and mostly, they just annoyed me, I decided it was time to take a break.  I’m just not ready.

My friend, did much the same as I did and was checking out personals ads when she came across one of my ex-husband. It contained a few surprises, the most glaring being that he claimed he has a Master’s Degree.  This from a guy who told me that he quit school in his mid-teens to drive truck for his Dad.  And, going by the incoherent write-up he offered, he’d be lucky to earn a GED.  Being a small town, word has gotten out and folks think it’s hilarious.  My friend was over for dinner one evening and accidentally lost her glasses down the toilet, so my Son-in-Law, a former plumber, comes over to fix it and before he even gets out of his truck he grins at me through the open window and says; “So, I hear Lorne has a Master’s Degree…. what’s it in?  B. S.?”  The only good news is that something that obvious is going to be a good tip-off to anyone thinking of replying to his ad.  Caveat emptor.  I, myself, had seen one of his personals ads last winter that went: “There must be someone who doesn’t have high expectations….. etc, etc.”  I couldn’t help laughing!  Was he finding that there were not many takers for a guy in his mid-50’s who has not made any effort to take care of himself (one of my friends, trying to be kind, described his appearance as “startling”) and is a lying, cheating, drug-using alcoholic who will try hook up with anything with a pulse, even while in a supposedly committed realtionship?

UGH.  I still keep hoping that he’ll move out of town so I don’t have to look at his ugly mug all the time (he works diagonally across the street from where I live and I have to pass by there to go anywhere) and it would be even better yet if he’d move back to Canada, but the good people of Canada probably don’t want him back there, either.

The little pond behind my apartment.

Onto more pleasant topics: spring has sprung here, so my garden is planted and I’ve been working on getting my outdoor chores done.  There’s not much left to do now, except to get my outdoor clothesline up.  I’ve haven’t hurried because we’ve still in the May Grays, and May typically means that it is foggy and rainy every day.  But June is just around the corner and I’ll be glad to see it!   I have an indoor clothes drying rack, but it’s been so damp that it’s taking two to three days to dry each load of laundry!  But, if that’s the worst thing I have to deal with in life, I’ll take it with a smile.  🙂  Besides, we’re at the height of pollen season, so I’m not really anxious to hang my wet laundry on a clothesline, yet.  As it is, I’m wiping down flat surfaces and sweeping or vacuuming every day to keep the level of pollen in my Little-Apartment-on-the-Pond down.  It’s amazing how much pollen is out there.  When my dog Sammy and I go for a walk, Sammy comes home looking as though he’s been anointed with faery dust and all the local ponds have a layer of mustard-colored residue on their surfaces.  I hope the bees are making the most of this yellow gold: as a former beekeeper, I’ve wondered how the bees have fared the last two or three years when we’ve had heavy rains during the pollen flushes; it’s got to be hard on the hives.

My other warm weather chore is to get the summer blinds back up in the sunny windows.  I take them down in the winter and hang up clear plastic sheeting to let the sunlight in but keep the drafts out.  This time of year, I need to keep the powerful sun’s rays out and let the drafts IN!  I try not to use air conditioning unless we’re having a really hot summer.  Last year, I got by without it and I’m hoping to this year as well.  The rent has gone up so I’m under more pressure than ever to get my expenses down.  My last electric bill was 27 dollars and change and I’d hate to it to start to go back up this summer, when I try to put money aside for next winter’s heating bills.  Last winter was mild but you never know when we’ll be slammed with a doozy!  We did get a few cold spells with single-digit temps but mostly, it was above freezing- my lettuce and onions that were too small to harvest last fall were still growing this spring and as a matter of fact, I had to pick the lettuce before I could sow a new crop and ended up with 4 gallons of delicious greens!  Hooray for fresh vegetables!  I can’t wait for more!  Happy spring!

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