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“Are you who you want to be?”

This takes some soul-searching  for some of us.  My automatic response is that who I am is based on a lifetime of experiences; but I always strive to be a better person and continually seek to expand my knowledge base.  I will never be perfect: there’s always room for improvement.  And parts of me will always be fighting to overcome some of those nagging, negative life experiences so that their impact on my existence is minimal.

“Are you where you want to be?”

I’m in the physical part of the world where I want to be, but if by ‘where’, the meaning is where you want to be in life; well, this isn’t exactly where I thought I’d be, but it’s where my decision path has taken me and this is my departure point for my future decisions.   Not all my choices have been or will be the best ones, but I hope that most of the new ones will help me achieve my current goals, which are to help my daughters get their children raised (I babysit a lot, especially for one daughter who works some overnight shifts at a nursing home), take care of my job, pets and household and make my camper and workload compatible with some long range travel in my beloved Parnassus.  I hope to semi-retire as soon as possible- I’m aiming for 6 to 10 years- and at that point, I would like to have my self-employment cut back to a handful of monthly columns and I would like to be on the road for at least a portion of the year.  We’ll see… Parnassus is a work in progress, too- but she’s getting there.  I took her for her annual state inspection last week and the normally taciturn (but very nice) middle-aged guy at the shop was really enthusiastic.  He kept saying: “Wow!!!”  “Wow!!!”  “She’s in good shape!”  “I want one!”  He asked if he could peek inside, and, of course, I’m more than happy to show her off.  She’s my baby.  Like a proud mother, I’ve also been gratified to get some thumbs up from the people I pass on the road.

As my only vehicle, lately all my road trips have been to various medical offices.  (Even at my family doctor’s office: “I saw your little rig out there!  I want one!”)  The good news is that my health is basically fine; the so-so news is that my cardiologist has recommended that I have a procedure to cauterize the part of my heart that has been causing an irregular heartbeat for the last 12 years.   I’m considerably less than thrilled about this latest development, but I’m trying to look at it as a positive; I”ll be healthier and if it cures the problem, potentially, I can get off my medications- and that would be wonderful!

So, for now, I am biding my time; trying to get as far ahead on work as I can as possible in order to take time off to make my escape and do some local camping in Parnassus and also, so I can have the surgery this fall without worrying about keeping up with my work load.  I am happy with where things are going in my life at this point and I am ever-hopeful that the future will hold many wonderful things!

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